Surrender
"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol
"Surrender means casting off the idea that life requires you to stay on guard, cover all your bases, and be in charge of everything around you. Surrender means understand that life merely requires you to control yourself, as in, do your best and roll with the unexpected. Surrender also means you stop regretting the past and you fear less for the future. You practice taking each day as it comes and cherish the time you have. Surrender means you worry less, not more."
- "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D
There is an innocence lost when we lost our two babies. When something so pure and so innocent as the lives of our children could be taken away without ANY reason, without ANY warning, to NO fault of our own or anyone else... it left us terrified.
Whats the point of ANYTHING if EVERYTHING can be taken away in the blink of an eye and there is NOTHING you or anyone else can do about it?
"God grant me the serenity..."
I have those words tattooed on my body. And I understand now MORE THAN ever their meaning.
We must surrender this thought of having absolute control over everything because the truth is we do not. And that doesn't have to be something that terrifies you... that is what Graham and Savannah have taught us.
My children have opened my eyes in a way I never thought possible. This morning I sat outside and while the pain of missing them, the pain of still holding on to that sadness of all the memories we will never make still stings very much, I swear the sky never looked so beautiful and the fresh air never felt so wonderful.
Exercise which is something I always loved has become something even more special... because this is my body that helped created Graham and Savannah. I want to take care of it and treat it with love and respect just like I would my babies.
My wife's face, her smile, her hair... everything. I just look at her and see this amazing woman that I have ALWAYS loved but now love on such a deeper, more significant level.
I cherish this moment, this blog, this day. The ability to do... to do ANYTHING.
If my wife ever gets mad at me I will forever think "Thank you God for giving me such a caring, passionate wife."
If my boss ever yells at me I will forever think "Thank you God for giving me a job I love and a boss that allows me to do it."
If I am ever sad again I will forever think "Thank you God for allowing me to love something so much that it could make me this sad."
We all need to surrender and forget about the chains of the past and the worries of the future. There are so many sayings about this and we have heard them all.
But for me it took two angels, my babies Graham and Savannah going into heaven to REALLY make me see it.
Thank you my loves... one more day closer to being with you again.
"Surrender means casting off the idea that life requires you to stay on guard, cover all your bases, and be in charge of everything around you. Surrender means understand that life merely requires you to control yourself, as in, do your best and roll with the unexpected. Surrender also means you stop regretting the past and you fear less for the future. You practice taking each day as it comes and cherish the time you have. Surrender means you worry less, not more."
- "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D
There is an innocence lost when we lost our two babies. When something so pure and so innocent as the lives of our children could be taken away without ANY reason, without ANY warning, to NO fault of our own or anyone else... it left us terrified.
Whats the point of ANYTHING if EVERYTHING can be taken away in the blink of an eye and there is NOTHING you or anyone else can do about it?
"God grant me the serenity..."
I have those words tattooed on my body. And I understand now MORE THAN ever their meaning.
We must surrender this thought of having absolute control over everything because the truth is we do not. And that doesn't have to be something that terrifies you... that is what Graham and Savannah have taught us.
My children have opened my eyes in a way I never thought possible. This morning I sat outside and while the pain of missing them, the pain of still holding on to that sadness of all the memories we will never make still stings very much, I swear the sky never looked so beautiful and the fresh air never felt so wonderful.
Exercise which is something I always loved has become something even more special... because this is my body that helped created Graham and Savannah. I want to take care of it and treat it with love and respect just like I would my babies.
My wife's face, her smile, her hair... everything. I just look at her and see this amazing woman that I have ALWAYS loved but now love on such a deeper, more significant level.
I cherish this moment, this blog, this day. The ability to do... to do ANYTHING.
If my wife ever gets mad at me I will forever think "Thank you God for giving me such a caring, passionate wife."
If my boss ever yells at me I will forever think "Thank you God for giving me a job I love and a boss that allows me to do it."
If I am ever sad again I will forever think "Thank you God for allowing me to love something so much that it could make me this sad."
We all need to surrender and forget about the chains of the past and the worries of the future. There are so many sayings about this and we have heard them all.
But for me it took two angels, my babies Graham and Savannah going into heaven to REALLY make me see it.
Thank you my loves... one more day closer to being with you again.
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