Go on...
"My life is what I am given now. I will trust that the fog will lift and the mountains will be beautiful once more."
- "Healing After Loss" by Martha W. Hickman
This blog will be linear ONLY in the sense that it will be maintained day after day...
... because emotionally and mentally I am all over the place.
My feelings change constantly. Everything from intense anger and profound sadness, to surprising moments of peace... there is no telling. Sometimes its completely unprovoked and sometimes there is an obvious trigger.
All the more reason I need this blog. To keep myself grounded. And to give myself something to look back at for comparison.
Am I stuck? Am I allowing myself to grieve? Am I letting others dictate my grief? Am I working hard enough to make my babies proud?
I read something today that made perfect sense... we will never move on from losing Graham and Savannah. Moving on means putting things behind you, forgetting them and going on with your life without them.
There is no way we will ever or WOULD EVER want to move on from our babies.
However we must and we WILL GO on... we will go on with our lives with them in our hearts.
Right now if you ask me I would tell you I have no idea... no idea how we will go on. How I will continually listen to the sounds of kids playing at the playground across the street or watch couples walk by the house pushing their young babies in their stroller or watch tv and see all the baby commercials... and not be brought to tears thinking about the memories that will never be.
But I do know that I love my wife and I love my children more than anything in this world.
And I made a promise to all of them.
We have a lot of life left to live and that means a lot of opportunities to make my family - Michele, Graham and Savannah - as proud as can possibly be.
Goodnight my loves... can't wait for your first sign <3 <3
- "Healing After Loss" by Martha W. Hickman
This blog will be linear ONLY in the sense that it will be maintained day after day...
... because emotionally and mentally I am all over the place.
My feelings change constantly. Everything from intense anger and profound sadness, to surprising moments of peace... there is no telling. Sometimes its completely unprovoked and sometimes there is an obvious trigger.
All the more reason I need this blog. To keep myself grounded. And to give myself something to look back at for comparison.
Am I stuck? Am I allowing myself to grieve? Am I letting others dictate my grief? Am I working hard enough to make my babies proud?
I read something today that made perfect sense... we will never move on from losing Graham and Savannah. Moving on means putting things behind you, forgetting them and going on with your life without them.
There is no way we will ever or WOULD EVER want to move on from our babies.
However we must and we WILL GO on... we will go on with our lives with them in our hearts.
Right now if you ask me I would tell you I have no idea... no idea how we will go on. How I will continually listen to the sounds of kids playing at the playground across the street or watch couples walk by the house pushing their young babies in their stroller or watch tv and see all the baby commercials... and not be brought to tears thinking about the memories that will never be.
But I do know that I love my wife and I love my children more than anything in this world.
And I made a promise to all of them.
We have a lot of life left to live and that means a lot of opportunities to make my family - Michele, Graham and Savannah - as proud as can possibly be.
Goodnight my loves... can't wait for your first sign <3 <3
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