Some Day...
"Ten" by Yellowcard
"Accept what is, and let go of what might have been."
- "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart"by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D
I am absolutely NOT ready to accept what is... not yet.
I cannot stop thinking about what might have been.
Taking Savannah to a father / daughter dance.
Taking Graham to his first New York Giants game.
Taking Michele and our kids to Disney for the first time.
Seeing Graham and Savannah play with their cousins.
Their first day of school.
Their first tee ball game.
Their first dance recital.
Their first words and the first time they say "I love you."
Our first Mothers Day together.
Our first Fathers Day together.
Watching them get kisses from Oscar and Bandit.
Every second of every day these are the thoughts that consume my mind.
I am working toward acceptance, I really am. I am feeling these feelings as part of the process to be able to get to the point where I can accept what is.
I can see this long, winding, never-ending road that has been laid out before me. I can see that every step along the way there is going to be pain, heartache and suffering. I know there will be happiness again but I also know that hidden around EVERY turn is the possibility of a trigger leading to more pain, more sadness...
These thoughts drag me down, deeper and deeper, closer to a depression I know I could never escape from.
But then... I feel them with me.
Graham and Savannah. With me. Close to me. Lifting me up. Smiling to show me its ok for me to smile. Joyous showing me its ok seek out happiness. They dont speak but they make it very clear to me: they will ALWAYS be with me. And my happiness will forever be linked to their existence.
My loves I promise you Daddy and Mommy and trying SO hard... we are trying to get past this pain of not being with you and get back to being the same happy family we were when you were still here. With your help we know we will get there again... and we will know with every laugh and every smile you will be right there with us enjoying it with us every single moment forever and ever.
Love you my little angels... always and forever.....
"Accept what is, and let go of what might have been."
- "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart"by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D
I am absolutely NOT ready to accept what is... not yet.
I cannot stop thinking about what might have been.
Taking Savannah to a father / daughter dance.
Taking Graham to his first New York Giants game.
Taking Michele and our kids to Disney for the first time.
Seeing Graham and Savannah play with their cousins.
Their first day of school.
Their first tee ball game.
Their first dance recital.
Their first words and the first time they say "I love you."
Our first Mothers Day together.
Our first Fathers Day together.
Watching them get kisses from Oscar and Bandit.
Every second of every day these are the thoughts that consume my mind.
I am working toward acceptance, I really am. I am feeling these feelings as part of the process to be able to get to the point where I can accept what is.
I can see this long, winding, never-ending road that has been laid out before me. I can see that every step along the way there is going to be pain, heartache and suffering. I know there will be happiness again but I also know that hidden around EVERY turn is the possibility of a trigger leading to more pain, more sadness...
These thoughts drag me down, deeper and deeper, closer to a depression I know I could never escape from.
But then... I feel them with me.
Graham and Savannah. With me. Close to me. Lifting me up. Smiling to show me its ok for me to smile. Joyous showing me its ok seek out happiness. They dont speak but they make it very clear to me: they will ALWAYS be with me. And my happiness will forever be linked to their existence.
My loves I promise you Daddy and Mommy and trying SO hard... we are trying to get past this pain of not being with you and get back to being the same happy family we were when you were still here. With your help we know we will get there again... and we will know with every laugh and every smile you will be right there with us enjoying it with us every single moment forever and ever.
Love you my little angels... always and forever.....
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