The Inevitable
It happened at 6:47am Sunday morning.
I woke up to the sound of my wife hysterically crying. I jumped off the chair and ran to her side to see what was going on.
"Nothing", she sobbed. "Its just that every time I wake up for a minute I feel like this isn't real than it hits me that this is really happening..." As she sobbed uncontrollably her eyes instantly grew wide and she looked at me with panic and terror in her eyes and said "I think I peed or my water broke!"
I lifted her blanket and there could be no questioning what happened.
At 20 weeks and 6 days, my wife's water broke.
As the doctors and nurses all came in, prefacing everything with "Im so sorry... I am just so sorry", we were in a state of shock. It doesn't matter that we knew this was the most likely scenario it still felt like a ton of bricks collapsing on us.
The doctor told us our options. Once again options that included horrible and the most horrible. We go ahead - since the labor process had no officially started - and take some meds to bring it along faster and deliver our two angels and end the pregnancy. Or we could wait... wait for the 1 in a zillion chance that my wife would deliver one baby and the other would somehow miraculously remain inside. This comes at a risk as now that her water has broke she would be at a higher risk of infection. It could also mean if the labor process kicks in too fast that my wife would not be able to get an epidural and would have to push and push to deliver our two angels for their brief, lifeless existence on this earth. I cannot imagine having to make this decision yet here we were... once again... as we have had to do already several times... make a decision on how the inevitable fate of our babies would play out.
We didnt hesitate. We wanted to give it a chance that we could save one baby. The doctor at this stage was ok with that so that is currently what we are doing. My wife is actually resting now and I am just sitting and waiting... waiting to see what will happen next.
I am waiting for my wife to deliver my first two children that we have brought into this world.
So that we can name them, bury them, and grieve for them.
I cannot in a million lifetimes imagine anything more horrific than this.
I woke up to the sound of my wife hysterically crying. I jumped off the chair and ran to her side to see what was going on.
"Nothing", she sobbed. "Its just that every time I wake up for a minute I feel like this isn't real than it hits me that this is really happening..." As she sobbed uncontrollably her eyes instantly grew wide and she looked at me with panic and terror in her eyes and said "I think I peed or my water broke!"
I lifted her blanket and there could be no questioning what happened.
At 20 weeks and 6 days, my wife's water broke.
As the doctors and nurses all came in, prefacing everything with "Im so sorry... I am just so sorry", we were in a state of shock. It doesn't matter that we knew this was the most likely scenario it still felt like a ton of bricks collapsing on us.
The doctor told us our options. Once again options that included horrible and the most horrible. We go ahead - since the labor process had no officially started - and take some meds to bring it along faster and deliver our two angels and end the pregnancy. Or we could wait... wait for the 1 in a zillion chance that my wife would deliver one baby and the other would somehow miraculously remain inside. This comes at a risk as now that her water has broke she would be at a higher risk of infection. It could also mean if the labor process kicks in too fast that my wife would not be able to get an epidural and would have to push and push to deliver our two angels for their brief, lifeless existence on this earth. I cannot imagine having to make this decision yet here we were... once again... as we have had to do already several times... make a decision on how the inevitable fate of our babies would play out.
We didnt hesitate. We wanted to give it a chance that we could save one baby. The doctor at this stage was ok with that so that is currently what we are doing. My wife is actually resting now and I am just sitting and waiting... waiting to see what will happen next.
I am waiting for my wife to deliver my first two children that we have brought into this world.
So that we can name them, bury them, and grieve for them.
I cannot in a million lifetimes imagine anything more horrific than this.
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