An Example To Our Children

"Heal" by Tom Odell


  For only the second time since our lives changed on Friday, I left the hospital.  I went home to shower and see the puppies and get some clean clothes.  It was terrifying being away from my wife and my babies... every sound of a text sent me into a total panic.

   Was something happening?  I knew I shouldn't have left!  I just envisioned myself driving 120 MPH on the wrong side of the road trying to get back...

   But it was nothing... I could breathe again.   For now....

   My wife and I have had so many conversations about how do we continue to hold on to hope when there seems to be such little of it given our situation?  We talk about being angry... we talk about how devastated we are that the life we pictured with our twins was possibly being ripped away from us and there was nothing we could do about it but sit here... waiting... always just waiting....

   I realized something today.  I am a father.  I have two children named Savannah and Graham.  I want to be the best possible father to my children that I possibly can... and that starts NOW.

   I want to teach my kids to have gratitude and appreciation.  I want to teach my kids that life is not so much what happens to you, but how you react and how you handle it.  I want to teach my kids that a bond forged by love between a parent and child can never be broken, never be altered and never disappear.  I want them to know that we don't let circumstances dictate who we are but by being who we are - strong, dedicated, devoted, unyielding in our hope for the best - WE dictate our circumstances.  Change your perspective and never lose faith.

   On Friday, I believed my children would not survive 24 hours.  Instead we have been blessed with four more days to spend with them.  Those days have been filled with love, with family and friends, with tears and with smiles.

   We will stop thinking of the time passing as "agonizing minute after minute" and instead spend these minutes being thankful for each and every single one of them that we are given to spend with our precious babies.

   We are creating memories.  We are creating our own stories about our own family that will last us the rest of our lives.  We are getting the chance to let our babies know what unconditional love feels like and what true happiness and joy feels like.  They know nothing but the purest, most unconditional love right now and we can feel them giving it right back to us.

   Our babies have shown us a love that we otherwise never would have known... and its a love not everyone gets to know or experience.

   Thank you my loves... Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we are so thankful for every minute we get to spend with you.

   On to the next glorious minute with you...